4 REASONS WHY MEN CHEAT?
There have been more articles than I care to count addressing this topic but I’m sure that if women really knew how to address the issue of men cheating it would cut down the divorce rate by half. My attempt to reenact this topic is simply to arm women with the knowledge of the most common reasons why a man
would stray. Most of which they probably know already.
A study by one of UK’s leading family law firms Woolley & Co found that the single most common reasons for divorce is related to sex. Finance issues rates very highly also but sex (i.e. infidelity) is the most common denominator. It accounted for at least 43% of divorce cases while lifestyle reasons were cited in 37% of the cases. Although infidelity is now increasingly rife amongst women the fact still remains that a much larger proportion of men cheat in comparison to women. There are various reasons why men would cheat but I have just narrowed it down to 4 reasons which I believe are at the forefront.
Number 1
Sex: It has been proven that men are generally more visual beings and less nurturing than women. In other words they tend to be inclined to act on what they see so once mini me says ‘oh la la’ and their mind says ‘maybe’ after meeting an attractive woman, they will quite happily sleep with her without having any feelings for her at all. I raised this discussion with a male friend of mine and he said that women who denied their men sex were basically giving them a green light to cheat because they would simply go out and find sex somewhere else albeit somewhat unwillingly (sometimes). No matter how enduring and trusting a man is there is always a limit and once this limit is reached even the Godliest men would break without sex.
Number 2
Ego: We all know that men have big egos (guys don’t front please your covers were blown a long time ago). A number of men judge the level of their masculinity by the number of conquests they have had with women so to prove a point to themselves, they may cheat on their partners just to feel that they’ve still got sex appeal. ‘It’s a man thing’ a guy friend of mine told me once which to be honest didn’t really explain much. One of my girl pals once fell for this really charming guy only to be met one day at his doorstep by his pregnant girlfriend who just came back from visiting Ghana. Oh and get this, it came to light that he also had a wife with 2 kids back in Nigeria!! I mean c’mon, how many women can one man have? Suffice to say she bolted from his house and never spoke to him again despite his pleas. Men also like to be the king of the castle because stereotypically they are usually seen as the breadwinner. If a woman gives them reason to feel otherwise this hurts their ego, it makes them feel less masculine so they may look for someone else who makes them feel like a ‘real’ man.
Number 3
Immaturity: They are not ready for commitment but fail to communicate this to their partner. Believe it or not most men don’t really know how to end relationships. Truth be told, they’re pretty crap at it. They’d rather cheat while they’re with their wife/girlfriend so they could keep them in the picture until they are able to make up their minds as to what they really want. This could be put down to emotional immaturity because they fail to see that their inability commit to one woman would eventually hurt others when the truth is revealed (and it always is). Bottom line is, they cannot have their cake and eat it.
Number 4
Pure balls: They think they can get away with it. This is the gutsiest reason of all because some men do really believe they can pleasure themselves and cheat as many times as they want without the missus finding out. I read an article where they interviewed 4 guys who were cheating on their girlfriends. 3 felt some remorse but one of them thought that he had a right to cheat and besides it was a bit of fun because it had an element of danger attached to it. Above all, he believed he could really get away with it.
Why do you think men cheat? Guys don’t be shy, this is your chance to set the record straight with the ladies and give us a real insight into this topic. In my next blog I will present you with a dilemma my good friend in New York is currently facing which relates to this topic so stay tuned. Until next time my good people…
the no 1 reason men cheat is cos ladies r made in such sexy ways dat it is impossible not to wanna taste her. wit d body huggin dresses u ladies wear nowadays, which sane man won't be turned on so, u ladies r d cause of why we r wot we are, sefini
ReplyDeleteAnonymous....you have just inspired a new topic with your post above 'Why do women feel the need to cheat' and the 1st reason on that will be ''No one deserves to put up with the likes of a 'MAN' (not sure if you can be called that) like you.'' Stop living in cuckoo land and get real!!
ReplyDeleteEgo ego ego.... i couldnt have put it better myself, this is a common reason for a lot of cheaters. You will also find that them that cheat are also suffering from esteem and insecurity issues. But i thought it interesting what you were saying about SEX. Relationships change over time and priorities sometimes change too especially when children come along etc. The bottom line is that relationships need loads of work and often when one party is too 'tired' for sex the other party can sometimes feel rejected and maybe look elsewhere. Sex is not the be all and end all but it is an important ingredient to a good relationship.
ReplyDeletewhy r ye all anonymous biko?
ReplyDeletec'mon fess up..unveil thyself..lol
Anonymous 1 - No guessing you're guy. Why do men come out with the dumbest statements?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 2 - Don't mind him. He's just trying to wind up the women.
Anonymous 3 - Well said. I agree that sex is not the be all and end all but it is very important especially for men. As much as i hate to say it women's bodies go through biological changes (menopause)which inevitably affects our sex drive. Everyone deals with it differently so some women are able to bounce back even stronger while other can't do it so easily.
Histreasure - Nne, i don't know for them o. It's like they all have something to hide (lol).
Im Anon 3 and no i've nothing to hide just couldnt be asked to sign up till now!
ReplyDeleteAh, Elle B so that was you? Don't mind me, i actually knew it was you but i wanted to make you come out of hiding (lol).
ReplyDeleteMy wife allows sex maybe once or twice a month so about 20 times a year. I got married to have sex not feel rejected every time I ask. And I was tricked at first there was a lot of sex. I have discussed this with her at length and how it makes me feel. She is unable or unwilling to change this so since our marriage is defined as sexless due to the frequency, I have no choice but to cheat. It is a concious decision with me to take a mistress. Not to leave my family and her because I love her, but to get the sexual release I need. Lets just say 20 times a year which equates to between 10 to 20 hours of sex when there are approximately 9,000 hours in a year is just redicluous. And any human being can not understand until they themselves find themself in this type of a situation. I never thought I would ever cheat I find it to be a sin and feel very ashamed and guilty over it but a human male can not go without sex it is completely unatural and this makes me somewhat angry with my wife for putting me in this situation. I even asked her for an open marriage and se gets emotional whenever sex is brought up because she understands it is her fault and she takes responsibility for it but doesn't do anything to change it. I even asked her to go to counselling and she saidit sould just be someone who blames her in addition to herself and she refuses to go. Her medical conditions of joint problems and allergies also lead to her not wanting to. Also I am very good in bed and make her finish so hard with the o that she pulls mussles every time she finishes so she feels good but then comes with so much pain afteerwads. She simply put has a lot of problems. I have resigned myself to stay married to her until the kids go off to college in 15 years and the divorce her for someone who does not have similar problems. In the meantime having a regular adult friend is the only answer. Now go ahead ladies and judge away.
ReplyDeleteI am in no position to judge the above post and instead would like to share my own exsperinces. I have been cheated on and lied to so much that I no longer believe in love. If you love someone this simply shouldn't happen. The only reason people stay together is because of sex and protection. I am with my cheating boyfriend right now because of fear of being alone--having no one to hold me and protect me. Feel good chemicals are released at the beginning of a relationship and once those chemicals stop being released the only way to keep the relationship alive is to have sex. Love doesn't exist.
ReplyDeleteoh the last post makes me feel so sad!!!! i always believed that somehow somewhere true love DOES exist, only it never came my way. Now after my fresh divorce, i really start to feel that love is just a fairytale...that the quote: "and they lived happily ever after" is only a beautiful end to a book but has no place in real life....
ReplyDelete