Commitment phobia

Picture this – boy meets girl, boy falls in lust , girl feels the same, they go on a date and things are swell, they go on their 2nd, 3rd and 4th date, things are great. They sleep together and it’s euphoria, boy doesn’t call girl, girl is wondering what’s going on and calls boy, he picks up saying he’s busy but promises to call her back to arrange another time to meet. 5 days later he still hasn’t called, girl decides to try again but he saves her number as ‘avoid’ and does not pick up the phone. 2 months later boy sees girl in the shopping centre and ducks for cover hiding behind anything that can cover him from full view. Girl is left scratching her head and wondering where it all went wrong.

Ever been the girl in this scenario before? Fear not because you’re not alone, there are thousands of others out there who have fallen victim of this phenomenon called ‘commitment phobia’. It doesn’t discriminate because both men and women suffer at the hands of the people who have this phobia. The main victims however tend to be women. It can be likened to a ‘non medical illness’, the symptoms of the people with this illness can include the following:

1 Inability to look you straight in the eyes when answering your questions about relationships and the incredible ability to avoid these types of questions.

2 Inability to return your call or text within 24 hours (ok maybe 24 hours is pushing it, at least 48 hours). Doesn’t matter what the excuse is but unless they’ve had bereavement in the family or they’ve been struck by lightning, a car, a motorbike or a train, then this is not acceptable.

3 Inability to set a time and day for when your next date will be. If you ask them when they’re free the answer is always something along the lines of ‘sorry I’ve been so busy lately but I’ll definitely call you before the end of the week to arrange something’. Forget it, your hair will be as long as Rapunzel’s before that happens but unlike Rapunzel you won’t have a knight in shining amour to rescue you.

4 Inability to introduce you to any members of their immediate family in some extreme cases they’ll tell you that their parents are out of the country until further notice. Well, maybe you might get introduced to the sister and brother but that’ll just be a decoy.

5 The word ‘relationship’ sends them into a coma and they suffer from paralysis of the mouth if that word is ever mentioned. If they ever mention to you that they’re confused about whether or not they want to be in a relationship then you guessed it – there is serious cause for concern.

6 Inability to do normal things that couples do e.g. going out for dinner, going to the movies, shopping (and I mean food shopping) - just basic coupley things.

7 Inability to call you their ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ when they’re introducing you to their friends.

Note:- In some very extreme cases the people suffering from this illness will have more than two of these symptoms at any given time. In some rare cases they actually exhibit all of the above and more (can’t think of any more for now).

Warning:- If you see any of these symptoms in the person you’re dating then you have 2 options (a) run! or (b) continue seeing them but be prepared for heartbreak (if you really like them that is).

Further note:- They may hide in the nearest shop when they see you in the shopping centre after you’ve slept together but don’t be upset or take it to heart because it really is an illness. There is a very simple cure for this illness, it’s called ‘emotional maturity’. The good news is that the sufferers do not need a doctor to cure this problem, they simply need to search within for a cure.
Until next time my good people…..