No pretence (Part i)

‘I can’t stop thinking about you’ he said as he moved closer to her. She moved backwards trying to avoid any contact and she tried as much possible to avoid his gaze.
‘I tell myself that if I don’t see you I wouldn’t think about you but lately that hasn’t been the case. It’s driving me crazy’. He said moving a step closer and cornering her to the wall so she could not escape.
‘Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t feel anything for me’.
She looked up at him scared that her eyes would betray her. ‘Please don’t do this now’ she begged.
‘But there is never a right time to tell you so I figured I might as well bite the bullet’. He said gently touching her face and letting his fingers run down the left side which made her tremble.
‘Please don’t….this is not right’ she pleaded but it fell on deaf ears. He took her hands and raised it to his lips plucking a kiss on the back of it.

‘I can’t pretend anymore’ he said looking down at her. She looked up to meet his gaze and he stared into her dark brown eyes then slowly moved his face closer to hers leaning in and putting his lips on hers gently caressing it. She froze on the spot like she was clued to the ground and it was as though she momentarily forgot her trail of thought. Her lips parted unconsciously like she had been longing for his lips and somehow she felt like she had lost control of her body. The kiss started off very gentle and then there was an urgency in both of them that grew to the point that they were grunting loudly at the pleasure of sharing the moment together. His lips felt so good as they parted making way for his tongue to explore hers but reality sunk in and she quickly pulled away getting her bearings again.

‘We...we can’t do this, I’m sorry but I have to go’ Trying to compose herself and pull herself together a bit she said ‘Can you move out of the way please? I really have to go now’ as he had backed her to a corner. Still disorientated from their kiss he sluggishly asked her why she had to go but she replied curtly telling him that he knew the reason why. What more reason does she have to give other than the fact that she had a fiancée …this just couldn’t be happening but since it has she had to be responsible and put a stop to it immediately. He reluctantly moved aside while she took to her heels with tears running down her face. How dare he put her in such an awkward situation, she thought to herself? She knew very well that it takes 2 to tango but he started this whole thing and she was foolish enough to follow. In fact she had enjoyed the kiss much more than she cared to admit and that disturbed her. Racking his brain for what to say to her to stop her from leaving, he followed her to the door saying ‘tell me you did not feel anything just now’. He knew it was a bid of desperation but he didn’t care at this point in time. He didn’t want her to leave but if she insisted she had to go he at least wanted to make sure he’d left her with something to think about. She opened the door and flew out like the house was on fire and banged the door behind her.

Inside he stood by the door with his back against the wall thinking about what had just happened. He wanted to go after her but something in him just held him back from opening the door. He didn’t think it was a good idea to follow her to her car particularly because of the way she flew out the door and the state she was in. He never let his emotions go like that but for some reason it felt right with her. In fact he was glad to get things off his chest because he had been carrying it for a long time now and it was becoming a burden. They have been friends for 5 years and he came to the realisation after the first year of their friendship that he was in love with her. It’s a shame he never quite got to tell her how he felt and by the time he mustered up the courage to do so he couldn't because she met someone else. In fact he told himself then that he wasn’t ready for anything serious with anyone so he did not welcome the feelings he had. While he was in denial James crept into her life and since then he’d been living a lie pretending to be content with just being her friend.

As he stood there he could still feel the tenderness of her lips…it took his breathe away. He felt a little guilty because she is engaged afterall but at the same time he felt elated he’d finally let it out. Something just came over him. He had tried so hard to make his feelings go away after she started a relationship with James. He went out with Rachel for 2 and a half years, had a few short relationships or rendezvous (as he preferred to call them) after they broke up due to his inability to commit, went through a phase where he was visiting strip joints every other week with his boys, didn’t see her for about a year but none of it made him completely forget her. Seeing her again 5 weeks ago made everything come flooding back, it’s like he hadn’t even been away. What was he going to do? He couldn’t help feeling that he had left things too late.
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As she unlocked her car door and slung herself inside she let out an exasperated sigh. She has never wanted someone this much before, not even her fiancé but she knew it just couldn’t happen. The first time she met him years ago she remembered thinking how attractive, down to earth, funny and ambitious he was. She’d wanted him to ask her out but he never did and she moved on. Well, she thought she moved on until this kiss today threw her completely off guard. What the hell was that all about? She sat there for what seemed like forever thinking about what had happened, wiping away the tears of guilt and frustration streaming down her face she put the keys in the ignition, revved the engine and drove off.

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To be continued......