DO’S AND DON’TS OFTHE FIRST DATE (Men)

There are a few things that people should just not do on their first dates. most of these are common sense but there is need to reiterate these points again so there are no excuses for mocking up your first date for technical reasons.

GENTLEMEN

1. Do make the effort to clean up and look good for your date. Most women tend to pay attention to detail so the extra few minutes you spend shaving and the time you spent ironing your shirt will not go unnoticed. Splash on some after shave or perfume because scent is a very important component for sex appeal. Be careful not to go for the kill though – some men can fumigate an ant’s colony with the amount of smellies they put on.

Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. The truth always comes out in the end so pretending that your literary skills will rival J K Rowling’s creative genius would only make you look silly when she asks you to write a poem for her.


2. Do pay for the date. Yes we are now in the 21st century in the era of equal rights between men and women but do not be fooled because some old fashioned values like paying for the first date is still a firm non mover in the dating bible. Generally women want men who they feel can take care of them and make them feel special so pretending you just received a very urgent phone call or making a quick beeline for the gents when the bill arrives will leave a bad taste in her mouth.

Don’t come on too strong. You might think you’re the king of the castle and every woman will fall in love with you once they lay eyes on you but just take it one step at a time or you risk scaring the life out of her. Please (this is a serious plea) don’t use the word ‘love’ and ‘you’ in the same sentence at any point during your date. Who are you kidding? You barely even know her last name so what you love is what you are seeing…that’s called infatuation. Understand the difference


3. Do pay her compliments. Specific compliments like ‘the colour of your top looks great on you’ or ‘your hair style really compliments your face’ go a long way because she will feel that you noticed the efforts she made. Let’s face it, who doesn’t like compliments? It’s a sure fire way to put a smile on her face and make her feel special. Do not mistake this with lurid compliments like ‘your ass looks good in that dress’. She may take it as an insult which is not the way it was intended

Don’t talk about yourself all the time. Yes we know you’re an interesting guy with an interesting job and an interesting family but she would think you are too self indulgent and believe it or not it is an early sign of selfishness. Never talk about the ex unless she specifically asks you why your last relationship didn’t work. Even if she does ask do not go into a tantrum, using erratic hand gestures and slapping the table at the thought of the wrong doings of your ex. One or two line sentences usually do the trick and oh, stay calm unless it would look like you’re not really over your ex.


4. Do listen to her when she’s speaking. She may be wearing a top that exposes her cleavage but her mouth is on her face not her chest. Picking up on something she said and asking her questions about it will make her think you are interested in her not just her ahem, assets.

Don’t be rude or behave childishly. Burping the alphabet and chewing loudly may be a laugh with the boys but remember that she isn’t one of your boys. This may sound like simple ABC but I know one or two men who have done this on their dates. She is a lady and needs to be treated as such so reframe from any childish behavior.


5. Do be on time for your date. Forget being fashionably late - on the first date making a good impression is important so being on time would make her feel you respect her time and more importantly that you were looking forward to meeting her.

Don’t sound boring and monotonous. Spark up the conversation, ask her light questions and make sure that you lead the date (stay off the ex and rehab topics if you want a pleasant end to the date). Most women like men who can take charge otherwise it would feel like they are babysitting.


7. Do call her shortly after the date (preferably by the next day) to let her know you had a good time. Leaving it a week later to call her because you want to maintain some mystery and keep her guessing does not work!! Unless you’re out of the country on a remote Island with no internet / phone connections or were admitted in a hospital with an illness that prohibited the use of your hands, there is no excuse for this. Do not play games; this is definitely a way to make her lose interest in you. Just like you found her attractive other men will also find her attractive, so don’t be under the illusion that she would be waiting around for you. This is a serious no no.

Don’t be a pest if she says she’s not interested in you. Be gracious about it. Do not result to childish insults like ‘you were not that pretty anyway’. She’s just not that into you so get over it and pick yourself back up. Remember it is just her personal view or feelings (everyone is entitled to one). There are plenty of other fish to catch - one of them will be yours and you won't be stuck thinking about the one that go away.


Ladies do's and dont's to be continued in the next post.